Talkin' BOUT my babies!
The second most common thing I hear about our fostering life involves my girls. Now, Mommas know what happens when people talk about your babies, right? So, imagine the expression on my face when someone says,
“Fostering hurts her daughters because it’s taking away their own Mother to be a Mother to someone else. Those poor girls go through a lot. They really suffer.”
Did ya picture my face on that one? Not pretty.
Now, just to clarify, no one has officially said this directly to me. Yet, ya’ll know how women are, I hear this phrase over and over, very indirectly and nonchalantly within my circle of friends. Yet, no one has been able to muster the courage to have this convo straight with me. It’s something that I’ve been praying on lately, so I figured since some of my own peeps may have this inclination, lots of people might too….let Momma write about it.
Fostering is NOT a Momma only ministry, it’s a family ministry. Family, as in, every person in this family helps, supports, prays, does something good for and with one another. Why? Because that’s what families do, and we treat ALL our foster littles like family. I mean, can you imagine me introducing my family…
“Oh, this is Mia, she’s our “real” daughter, and this guy, he’s just our pretend son.”
Chances are, if you see me with a dark-skinned baby or blonde-haired cutie, or maybe both at the same time, you kind of sort of know that we foster. But fostering, while changing the dynamics of our family, doesn’t change the way our family families. Fostering doesn’t define the love we feel for our babies, or short change it by making it fake or phony, and it certainly doesn’t stop us from treating them like anything else but the children of God that they are. These babies aren’t contagious, they aren’t weird or bad, they’re not poisonous. They’re kids, ya’ll! Innocent, kids. Innocent kids who deserve to be treated like just another member of my family. Loving them isn’t going to hurt my daughters, it does the exact opposite.
Some of the muttering about our ministry in fostering is actually true. Fostering has changed my girls, and yup, they go through a lot. Yes, they’ve experienced the great pain, and heartbreak that comes with losing littles who we love like family. But my girls have also come to experience the overwhelming grace, fueled completely by Jesus, that comes from genuine compassion, empathy, self-less love and forgiveness, first hand, which has been far more meaningful and utterly significant to their own lives. There’s an innocent, frail, sometimes traumatized, little face, that each of my girls have burned into their minds and hearts that has forever influenced the way they treat people. My girls know the work they do, as foster sisters, loving littles who may not have ever known or will know what it’s like to have a sister, and they know that they are truly changing the world, one brother at a time. So, call me crazy, that I’m raising kind-hearted, loving, empathetic daughters, who will one day be amazing wives and mothers.
We will continue to foster, as a family. My daughters will continue to love their brothers and sisters that enter our home, and we will call our babies family…because that’s what they are. I hope when you see us, you will too.